Facebook Killed the Reunion Star

Aging as gracefully as I am, it's hard to believe that my ten-year high school reunion is right around the corner. The ol' clicé is true; time really does fly.

I decided quite a few years ago that I have no interest whatsoever in attending my high school reunion. I don't know about you guys, but shit . . . I graduated with over 600 people, and saying that 590 of them were assholes is a conservative estimate.

The subsequent years following my decision have seen the exponential growth of social networking. This is nothing new, so I won't give it any more time than this: every single person that you have ever laid eyes on has a Facebook account.



"Reconnecting" with said assholes has only helped to reaffirm my stance on not going to my reunion. Thanks to Facebook, I already know who got married, who got knocked up, who got disgustingly fat, and who went bald. I also know their favorite artists, TV shows, and movies! It's brilliant, really.

I don't need to spend two nights of my life schmoozing with these fucking idiots. The handful of people that graduated with me that I still give a shit about I talk to on a semi-regular basis.

Any day now I expect to get a call from mother about some piece of mail regarding the reunion. I can't wait to tell her to toss it in the trash.